Times & technology have changed. Even the way people cheat in some cases has changed. But the motives, causal factors, & emotions tied to infidelity are constant. The new signs are not that difficult to spot if you know where & how to look. 

 

Another one of my clients has had to endure the nonsense so, (as it, most definitely, is a huge sign of cheating), its worth mentioning again.  1 A). Some women will accidentally/ on purpose leave/ plant their personal items for the wife to find, (typically in the vehicle) (previous blog post with photos of such items). Especially if she is growing increasingly impatient with his promises to leave his wife. The other woman may hope that when the wife finds the items, she will kick her husband out - leaving him vulnerable & up for grabs, ( it sometimes works - especially when the wife kicks him out, he'll - at least temporarily), go to the mistress. Women cheat just as often as men do, (for different reasons), but men don't typically leave items for the husbands to find.

 

Just because you can check off a number of the following signs, doesn't necessarily mean that your spouse is cheating. But you should be extra aware of - & willing to listen to - your gut.

He or she:

1. (1.B). Has a cell phone but no bill (may be a new "work" phone)
2. Has two phones; seems to keep them very separated. When he's at home, the second phone usually isn't around.
3. Has a separate credit card from you but no bills come to the house.
4. You stop seeing or receiving bills for existing credit cards or cell phones.
5. Starts putting passwords on email accounts
6. Changes passwords for Facebook or online bills & accounts.
7. Erases the browsing history on the computer after use.
8. Quickly exits the screen when you walk in (cheater sites have emergency exit buttons).
9. Allows calls go to voicemail or ignores texts for no reason. 
10. Increases time spent on computer or phone. Wants privacy doing it.
11. Becomes moody; picks fights; & storms out.
12. Finds excuses to leave the house.
13. Increase in work hours, not reflected in pay.
14. Suddenly very interested in your schedule.
15. Requests for you to try new clothes; hairstyle; sex acts.
16. Jealous or possessive of you.
17. Sudden change, improvement, or interest in appearance (loses weight)
18. Change in music (radio stations); hobbies; interests.
19. His or her family & mutual friends start acting "weird" around you. 
20. Time that can't be accounted for.
21. Most affairs are with co-workers; may bring the other person up in conversation.
22. Money in joint accounts unaccounted for. 
23. Finding items (mistresses have been known to "mistakenly" drop an earring in the car).
24. The radio station; passenger seat, or mirror position changed.
25. If your GUT tells you!  Listen to your instincts

Suggestion: Usually, there is no point in asking directly because you won't get the truth. It may actually make it worse because they will now cover their tracks better & be far more careful about evidence. If you suspect your partner may be cheating, as hard as it is (& I know how hard it is), don't confront them - YET. Get evidence or hire a private investigator. The TRUTH is the most important thing & you will likely never, ever, get it from your spouse. You need the truth in order to protect yourself, physically, (STDs/ STIs), financially, & emotionally. There are many resources & support systems so you definitely don't have to do it on your own.

GPS Tracking Devices

GPS Tracking Devices; Do's & Don'ts

We are not lawyers. The following is not legal advice & should not be taken as such.

The fact that GPS Tracking devices are now commercially available has resulted in a lot of confusion, broken laws, & wannabe/ DIY-P.I.s. There are specific laws in Canada limiting the use of these devices & they are not open to interpretation, (ignorance is no excuse for the law & can not be used as a defence). The specific laws pertaining to GPS tracking devices can be explained by a lawyer but it's actually fairly simple: you can not put one on someone else's property without permission or a warrant. 

You can place a tracking device on your own property or with the owner's consent. Police can put them on vehicles as long as they have a warrant.  Reputable private investigators will only use them under legal circumstances.

If you drive a company vehicle, your boss can - and likely has - put a tracker on it. They have proven to be invaluable for fleet, (and personnel), management.

Putting one on the family car can protect, (& keep tabs on), a teenaged driver - as long as they're not the legal owner.

If you are married, your spouse's vehicle is fair game if it's marital property. You're out of luck if you want to put one on your boyfriend's, (or girlfriend's), car though.

GPS tracking devices are no longer limited to vehicles. Small GPS devices are now used in cell phones, worn around the neck, in backpacks, or even in shoes.

GPS tracking systems have a number of positive applications. They can be worn around the neck, in backpacks, and even in shoes. (http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/6-questions-about-gps-trackers-in-cars-1.1162142), to protect children and the elderly. They can be attached to valuable property, such as boats or ATVs to assist in recovery in the event of theft.

Unfortunately, there will always be people who ignore the law and people who use them for nefarious reasons. Micro units can be placed in cell phones or a phone's GPS system can be hacked into with an app.  They can be placed on or inside your vehicle without your knowledge.

There are two main types that are used in vehicles: wired and wireless.  The hardwired units can be left in place indefinitely.  The battery-operated units are typically housed in a weather-resistant, sturdy, casing with a strong magnet and need to be retrieved in order to change the battery. There are two types of wireless trackers. "Live" GPS trackers can be set to specific time intervals, such as 5 or 10 seconds. Even though they can be pricey and need to have a data plan, the same as a cell phone, they have a number of benefits over the "logger" units. In addition to being monitored in real time, they can be located if they were to fall off of the vehicle. The logger types "log" information and need to be retrieved and downloaded in order to get the information from them. They are less expensive and don't require a data plan. In addition to not being monitored in real-time, if they fall off and get lost  - they're lost.  Both types offer reports in a number of formats and come with fairly simple-to-install software and instructions.  Both types can be either purchased or rented.

If you suspect that someone may have illegally placed a GPS tracker on your vehicle, (or property), you should report it to police immediately.